I spend a lot of time travelling on the metro as part of my job and i’ve noticed that there are certain people that I encounter again and again on Madrid’s metro, who really get on my nerves. One thing that irritates me in particular is when I see couples engaging in PDA (Public Displays of Affection = there’s that phrase again).

After many discussions with my friends about these characters and their traits, I’ve decided to put together a list of the 12 most annoying people on the metro. I wonder if you’ll agree..

 

1.    The person who thinks that everyone else wants to listen to what he/she is listening to.

Why thank you! All I wanted on my journey home from work was to listen to a distorted version of your music; you’re so considerate.

You might as well bring one of these instead; at least we’d hear it properly.

 
2.    The person whose bag needs a whole seat for itself.
Is your bag comfortable there? Oh, good. That’s all that matters.

Would your bag like to read that person’s copy of Beano, too?

 

3.    The person who evils you for just trying to get past them.
I’m sorry you’re not enjoying this metro ride because you don’t like people. But must you make my journey hell, too?

I only moved past you. Don’t look at me like that.

 

4.    People who get on the train before letting passengers off.
Ah, yes, because you’re the most important person on this platform. Please, go first.

This is how I react to them.

 

5.    The guy opposite you that WON’T STOP staring at you throughout the whole journey.
I am really enjoying you leering at me; it’s making me feel SO comfortable.

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6.    Anyone who won’t stand up and give their seat to a pregnant woman or the elderly.

You’re too interested in playing Candy Crush to notice the pregnant lady standing right next to you? Of course you are. Breaking all the chocolate on level 89 is far more important.

Of course it is.

 

7.    The couple immersed in a PDA session (PDA = public display of affection).

It’s great that you’re happy. But seriously, STOP IT.

Oh look how happy everyone else is.

 

8.    Everyone coming back from a football match.

Did you have a good time at the football? Well, you’ve just made me feel like this:

Ñom ñom.

 

9.    The guy who doesn’t respect your personal space.

Fine, I don’t mind giving you the armrest. But must you SIT ON ME, too?

She’s got quite a good idea there…

 

10. The person next to me who forgot to put deodorant on in the morning, when the train is like this.

Oh, lucky me.

 

 11. The directors of EMT, when this happens:

Ah, there’s an interrupted service and the train isn’t stopping here. That’s fine.

 

12. Me, when I miss the train because I’m running late:

Right, only 9 minutes to wait until the next metro…

 

13. People who think that botellón is OK on the metro.